Searching for Strap-on…

So you’ve decided you want to get a strap-on? Congratulations my friend and welcome to the new world! Now comes the thrilling yet overwhelming task of searching for your new paraphernalia. Don’t worry, I’ve got your neck, back, strap-on and crack!

queer woman wearing leather and rainbow strap on dong

First let’s rewind ten years to a time when I was in the same position as you. I had zero intel on strap-ons, except that I thought they were hot af. I’d watched a bunch of porn scenes (mostly Nina Hartley) being a badass boner bearing boss. Finally I’d met a lover who was also onboard with girl-boners (this is kind of important), so now it was time to find me a schlong. 

As a horny twenty something year old, It seemed wise to start my strap-on journey with an all-in-one kit from the generic adult store down the road. I honestly had zero understanding of the different components, sizes, materials, shapes and functions involved with my newfound fetish. After much trial and some error with my hobby kit (which definitely wasn’t made of body safe materials and eventually just melted), I learnt that buying separate components to suit all my desires was going to be more fruitful 🍌.  Fast forward to 2021 with much trial and thrusting later, I’m here to impart my wisdom to save your genitals and wallet the unnecessary pain mine endured. 

I recommend beginning your strap-on journey with a really comfy, adjustable and durable harness. Most harnesses out there are universal, just remember fit and comfort are key. There are many options offering different styles, fits, sizes, fixings and materials to choose from. Personally, I invested in a Gabona leather harness, made by a local queer person. These are the harness you buy for life.  and also double up as a chest harness for play or fashion purposes! Gabona harnesses are comfy, and the straps can be worn like a g-string or around your booty as a jock strap with a range of sizes to suit all body shapes. The ‘O’ ring that holds your dong in place is a universal size to fit most dongs. (Gabona harnesses are hand made to order and take 2-6 weeks to produce, so please keep this in mind when purchasing)

For our vegan or beginner friends out there, I recommend Basix rubber works universal harness. This kit comes in two sizes and adjusts to your body. It’s made out of comfy nylon straps that go around your butt cheeks and includes three sizes of silicone rings for attaching a dong to your harness. For those who are trans masc identifying or prefer their junk to be covered up when wearing a dong, I recommend trying these Aussie packing undies, designed by a trans masc person. With these boxer shorts you can wear a dong through the internal O ring which is also there for stand-to-pee packers (if packing is your thing). 

Once you’ve found a suitable harness, now we get to dong shopping: The material your dong’s made out of is extremely important. Silicone is the safest material to be sticking inside you  (or someone else) as most silicone used in toys is medical grade. TPE and TPC are porous, so best not to share any toys made from these materials. I always recommend silicone! It’s important to ask yourself how you’ll be using your strap-on when purchasing a dong too. Whose genitals will you be sticking it in? Chat to them, find out their size preferences and any concerns. Humans of all genders and sexual orientations enjoy using strap-ons. For this reason, there are MANY dongs/dicks/shlongs/dildos to choose from. There are even strap-on’s that go over a flesh dick to make it bigger. Shopping online can be confusing with sizing, so be sure that you’ve investigated the girth AND length of dongs before purchasing your cock, or it may only be useful to you as a door stopper. lol.

Vaginas/front holes/vulvas can handle larger things more immediately than anuses. If you’re with a partner who wants to be pegged (f*cked in the butt with a strap-on) then you’ll want to start with something small and there are products designed specifically for pegging. With butt stuff, ALWAYS begin bijou and work your way up, a finger, then another, use plenty of lube, lots of relaxed breathing and making sure the receiver is comfortable. Butts are stretchy but it takes some work to get them to open up, don’t believe everything you see in porn. Also, butt play may involve poop, if you’re interested in douching or using an enema to avoid poop during play, please ensure you do your research on this topic.

Since beginning my journey, I learned that I I like to top and bottom, otherwise known as 'switching'. My favourite dong right now is the Love Largedue to its super realistic texture but not so realistic appearance. I should warn you, it’s BIG and wide (I have no shame in being a size queen). If you’re looking for something a little smaller with a realistic feel, I also recommend the Squeeze it, you can even heat these in the microwave or warm water for a realistic sensation. Vibrating dongs can also be fun and there’s options to use a remote or app controlled toys now too!

Logistics… Another cheeky tip is to purchase a longer dong when partnered with a strap-on (bare with me). Lack of sensation, logistics and differing body shapes can mean it’s difficult to get as close to your lover as you’d like with your weapon, so the extra length gives you more to work with. Most dongs can be used with strap-ons If you have the right sized O ring. Silicone o-rings are good because they stretch, but metal rings are more durable and most universal harnesses have taken this into account. Ensure the products you’re buying to put inside you are made of body safe materials. If you have silicone toys don't use silicone lubricant with them (it can corrode your toys) always use water-based lube or a hybrid.

New products are constantly being innovated for our pleasure. When the strapless strap on came onto the market, I was intrigued. I couldn’t understand how I was supposed to hold something with my pelvic floor muscles AND root at the same time, but I did like the idea of wearing the dong like it was attached to me. Instead of struggling to keep the strapless strap-on inside me, I would use it lying down with a lover climbing on top. This position is ideal for the person on top to be in control. I really enjoy doggy style too though, so I decided to rig my strapless strap-on up to my universal harness and it worked a bloody treat. If you’re using a nylon universal harness you can unbutton and remove the groin plate to use with an insertable, the Gabona leather harness has no groin plate so it’s easy to use with a strapless/insertable.

Once I'd sorted my custom rig, not only did I have better control and action, but it meant that I could also orgasm whilst f*cking someone else = better sex. Now it’s your turn to go forth on your strap on pilgrimage, hopefully with a little more knowledge and confidence to experiment.

Remember to never assume what someone else likes, experimentation is fun as long as all parties are into it. Chat with your lover/s about fantasies or perversions and never shame someone for opening up conversations around trying new things. ALWAYS use natural, water based lube for play because it makes everything feel effin’ superb. Happy hunting/humping. 

Play on perverts, 

Renee xo


Older Post Newer Post


Leave a comment